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This drawing was in part inspired by a joke I heard on Clive Anderson’s Chat Room – satirical talk show, on BBC Radio Two a fortnight ago.
I remember opening a bank account with Midland Bank (now HSBC) primarily because they offered me a free piggy bank. During my student days banks tried to entice me with beer mugs, Dalek key chains, rail cards, pop corn machines, bar fridges etc.
Later on, after graduation, they tried to lure me with cash offers, interest free overdrafts, higher interest rates and so on.
The current banking crisis has brought the safety of customer deposits into focus and banks have started using ‘trust’ as their selling point. To be honest, I am worried about my savings despite governments guaranteeing every penny. I must confess I even thought about keeping my savings in mattresses and shoe boxes.
A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell. She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.“Oh my,” said the writer. “Let me see heaven now.”A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.
“Wait a minute,” said the writer. “This is just as bad as hell!”
“Oh no, it’s not,” replied an unseen voice. “Here, your work gets published.”
Thanks to Naomi for sending me this link. More jokes here.
I love poems like this-they remind me of literary nonsense of Spike Milligan and Edward Lear.
this is the song of mehitabel
of mehitabel the alley cat
as i wrote you before boss
mehitabel is a believer
in the pythagorean
theory of the transmigration
of the soul and she claims
that formerly her spirit
was incarnated in the body
of cleopatra
that was a long time ago
and one must not be
surprised if mehitabel
has forgotten some of her
more regal mannersi have had my ups and downs
but wotthehell wotthehell
yesterday sceptres and crowns
fried oysters and velvet gowns
and today i herd with bums
but wotthehell wotthehell
i wake the world from sleep
as i caper and sing and leap
when i sing my wild free tune
wotthehell wotthehell
under the blear eyed moon
i am pelted with cast off shoon
but wotthehell wotthehelldo you think that i would change
my present freedom to range
for a castle or moated grange
wotthehell wotthehell
cage me and i d go frantic
my life is so romantic
capricious and corybantic
and i m toujours gai toujours gai
i know that i am bound
for a journey down the sound
in the midst of a refuse mound
but wotthehell wotthehell
oh i should worry and fret
death and i will coquette
there s a dance in the old dame yet
toujours gai toujours gai
i once was an innocent kit
wotthehell wotthehell
with a ribbon my neck to fit
and bells tied onto it
o wotthehell wotthehell
but a maltese cat came by
with a come hither look in his eye
and a song that soared to the sky
and wotthehell wotthehell
and i followed adown the street
the pad of his rhythmical feet
o permit me again to repeat
wotthehell wotthehell
my youth i shall never forget
but there s nothing i really regret
wotthehell wotthehell
there s a dance in the old dame yet
toujours gai toujours gai
the things that i had not ought to
i do because i ve gotto
wotthehell wotthehell
and i end with my favorite motto
toujours gai toujours gai
boss sometimes i think
that our friend mehitabel
is a trifle too gay
Thanks to Ian for sending me link to the site. I got hooked on to archy and mehitabel straightaway. Their engaging collection of light poetry and maxims can be found here.
Procrastination is often said to be the silent killer of creativity and productivity, both for the individual and for society as a whole. We have all heard the saying, ‘Do not put off until tomorrow what you can do today’, so why is it so easy to fall into the seductive trap of procrastination?
Looking back into the mists of time, one can learn that mankind has been afflicted with procrastination for at least as long as leprosy and diabetes!
Procrastination even has had martyrs, like Archimedes, one of the world’s most famous inventors who, when his life was threatened by invading Roman soldiers, chose the heroic path of procrastination. Rather than attend to the immediate necessity of escape, the great man delayed this task and told the soldiers to leave him alone until he had finished his calculation! Tragically, the Romans killed him on the spot.
Ironically, it might be argued that it was not barbarian hordes, but rather the spectre of procrastination that finally brought the Roman Empire to its knees. While we are uncertain whether Nero really fiddled (actually played the lyre) in theatre costume, while Rome burned in AD 64, it is well-known that the warning plume of smoke coming from Mount Vesuvius was conveniently ignored by the inhabitants of Pompeii and Herculaneum in AD 79. Perhaps the inhabitants thought they might leave the city…yes, after the gladiatorial games will be okay…Unfortunately the volcano had other ideas and the cities were destroyed by ash and mud.
Echoing the procrastination of the great Archimedes, Leonardo da Vinci of Renaissance Italy, the most universal genius of the past 500 years confessed on his deathbed to how he had wasted his talents in unfinished projects. It is clear that Leonardo embarked on hundreds of projects, but finished precious few, and some of his greatest masterpieces remain incomplete. It is said that genius is very close to insanity, but is it actually much closer to procrastination?
Would the world of classical music be the treasure it is today without a little procrastination? Who can forget Schubert’s Unfinished Symphony? And why did Mozart and Beethoven leave incomplete works? Was it a joke on future musicians, who still strive to fill in the missing passages, or really just a case of procrastination, when Wolfgang would rather go down to the billiards hall with his pals, or Beethoven was having one of his mood swings and decided ‘postpone’!
in 1936, Sir Winston Churchill leading the battle, not only against the spectre of fascism, but also fighting a second front against the menace of procrastination that threatened to overrun the free world. Churchill warned us that, ‘The era of procrastination, of half-measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays is coming to a close. In its place we are entering a period of consequences’. The reality of the decade to come proved to be far more complex.
Our book The Art of Procrastination and Other Time Wasters’ Thoughts does not debate the perils (or otherwise) of procrastination. Rather we say, “Manana!” and revel in the colourful ways in which people procrastinate, discussing peculiar reasons one gives to avoid work and laugh at it.
We invite you to join us on our exploration of this fascinating subject. Please let us know how you procrastinate.
Kris and Ian.
As part of our writing for charity principles, we have committed to donate the entire proceeds of our royalties to a charity. We will update the details soon.
From Left-handed toons
I still drink around 6-7 regular cups of coffee every day. In the evenings I usually drink around three schooners of beer in my local (except when I am on call).
My excuse: Well, it’s not much.
How do you rationalise your habits?
Our new book The Art of Procrastination and Other Time Wasters’ Thoughts will tell you all about it………..….. very soon.
Now who said that procrastination does not pay?
I got the idea for this cartoon while watching the movie Dead Poets Society last night. I must confess that I have always (though not openly) been fascinated by existentialism and have been reading and contemplating a lot on it recently.
Death has always been a major theme for existentialism. Is death the only certainty in life (apart from taxes)? Does death makes life absurd (other than providing a healthy source of food for the worms)?
I wonder?
I came across this cartoon last evening and found it intellectually stimulating. This cartoon is open to different interpretations from both atheists and theists.
Cartoonist Dan Pirraro himself stated “However you take this cartoon, I think it’s an interesting idea. If God is only in the minds of humans, how is he looking at the sign? If He actually exists and someone did this to Him as a joke, why does it make Him mad?”
While religious moralists may find any cartoon with God off-putting, I think this cartoon can be enjoyed by everyone.
We seem to want instant answers to everything? Is modern society driving us to act out a parody of channel-hopping in real life?
Wonder what would happen if psychotherapy meets fast-food culture?
