Back on the Blog

© Dave Walker

Am back on the blog after a lengthy absence. Work, work, work and more work had schemed against my blogging efforts in the last few months but hopefully things will remain calm from now on, giving me more time to blog. I am working on the feature now. Should be online by next weekend.

The Broke Banks

This drawing was in part inspired by a joke I heard on Clive Anderson’s Chat Room – satirical talk show, on BBC Radio Two a fortnight ago.

I remember opening a bank account with Midland Bank (now HSBC) primarily because they offered me a free piggy bank. During my student days banks tried to entice me with beer mugs, Dalek key chains, rail cards, pop corn machines, bar fridges etc.

Later on, after graduation, they tried to lure me with cash offers, interest free overdrafts, higher interest rates and so on.

The current banking crisis has brought the safety of customer deposits into focus and banks have started using ‘trust’ as their selling point. To be honest, I am worried about my savings despite governments guaranteeing every penny. I must confess I even thought about keeping my savings in mattresses and shoe boxes.

Writer’s block

Haven’t got one at the moment. Thought the picture is cute.

From http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Ignore Everybody

The following are some interesting quotes from a blog that I have been following regularly and is now coming out as a book.

“Good ideas have lonely childhoods.”

“Don’t try to stand out from the crowd, avoid crowds altogether.”

“You are responsible for your own experience.”

“Nobody cares. Do it for yourself.”

“If you accept the pain, it cannot hurt you.”

Here’s a link to the first chapter of the book Ignore Everybody.

Looking forward to reading your book Hugh.

Last Laugh

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell. She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.“Oh my,” said the writer. “Let me see heaven now.”A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.

Maxims of Archy

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

From the maxims of Archy by Don Marquis.

Scourge of spam

I had to disable the comments feature on the Blog as it has been targeted by spammers – am getting around 50 a day now - mostly offering Viagra substitutes.

Will be installing a newer version of WordPress this week and hopefully will be able to contain the scourge of spam.

Archy and Mehitabel.

I love poems like this-they remind me of literary nonsense of Spike Milligan and Edward Lear.

•  
  •  
    the song of mehitabel
    By Don Marquis, in “archy and mehitabel,” 1927

this is the song of mehitabel
of mehitabel the alley cat
as i wrote you before boss
mehitabel is a believer
in the pythagorean
theory of the transmigration
of the soul and she claims
that formerly her spirit
was incarnated in the body
of cleopatra
that was a long time ago
and one must not be
surprised if mehitabel
has forgotten some of her
more regal mannersi have had my ups and downs
but wotthehell wotthehell
yesterday sceptres and crowns
fried oysters and velvet gowns
and today i herd with bums
but wotthehell wotthehell
i wake the world from sleep
as i caper and sing and leap
when i sing my wild free tune
wotthehell wotthehell
under the blear eyed moon
i am pelted with cast off shoon
but wotthehell wotthehelldo you think that i would change
my present freedom to range
for a castle or moated grange
wotthehell wotthehell
cage me and i d go frantic
my life is so romantic
capricious and corybantic
and i m toujours gai toujours gai

i know that i am bound
for a journey down the sound
in the midst of a refuse mound
but wotthehell wotthehell
oh i should worry and fret
death and i will coquette
there s a dance in the old dame yet
toujours gai toujours gai

i once was an innocent kit
wotthehell wotthehell
with a ribbon my neck to fit
and bells tied onto it
o wotthehell wotthehell
but a maltese cat came by
with a come hither look in his eye
and a song that soared to the sky
and wotthehell wotthehell
and i followed adown the street
the pad of his rhythmical feet
o permit me again to repeat
wotthehell wotthehell

my youth i shall never forget
but there s nothing i really regret
wotthehell wotthehell
there s a dance in the old dame yet
toujours gai toujours gai
the things that i had not ought to
i do because i ve gotto
wotthehell wotthehell
and i end with my favorite motto
toujours gai toujours gai

boss sometimes i think
that our friend mehitabel
is a trifle too gay

Thanks to Ian for sending me link to the site. I got hooked on to archy and mehitabel straightaway. Their engaging collection of light poetry and maxims can be found here.

…Dust to dust

Ever since I moved to Sydney my fight against dust seems never ending. The air here is dirty and I have found myself dusting my flat every other day. In spite of this I seem to find dust everywhere. Should I ignore it? Is life too short to fight dust?

Here’s an interesting poem by Rose Milligan. Perhaps Rose is correct and I need to stop obsessing over dust.

Dust If You Must

Dust if you must but wouldn’t it be better
To paint a picture or write a letter,
Bake a cake or plant a seed
Ponder the difference between want and need.

Dust if you must but there’s not much time
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb
Music to hear and books to read
Friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must but the world’s out here
With the sun in your eyes, and the wind in your hair,
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain
This day will come around again.

Dust if you must but bear in mind
Old age will come and it’s not kind
And when you go and go you must
You, yourself, will make more dust.

Happy Returns

© Chris Browne

“Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.”
F.J. Raymond

Received a letter from the Tax Office today. My emotions go from a state of anxiety upon seeing the crest of the tax department’s envelope to a state of either joy if I get a refund or gloom if I owe the taxman any money. It was a refund and I am relieved.

Had an interesting conversation with my friend last evening about the psychology of tax refund. He argued that getting a large tax refund is a sign of poor money management and people should not be happy when they get a refund as it was their money ‘lent’ interest free to the government.

Do you agree? How do you feel when you do you tax returns?